I talked to 20 ladies from 5 different countries (with different relationship status- from single to married for 10 years) with an age range between 16- 38. I asked them what’s the most annoying thing a guy does and what they wouldn’t confront a guy with. Read what they said below and some of my comments/advice on each of them.
I broke it down by the different stages of a relationship, notice how it becomes more sensitive to discuss as we progress through the relationship stages. All 21 things can happen in all stages, I just put them where I think they would most probably happen.
Initial Meeting/ Dating:
1. He yo-yos me
“When he agrees to meet or do something together and then he disappears. That would be just immature, right? It doesn’t stop there, he comes back to apologize and goes back to normal, only until he disappears again.” It’s pretty simple guys, if you don’t want to do this, just say it and walk away instead of going back and forth for all the good and the bad reasons. So please do us a favor, if you disappear, don’t come back. Mixed signals are neither attractive nor cool.
2. He Asks too many questions
“It’s so obvious when he’s trying to figure out my financial status or other things by interrogating me.” Please take the time to get to know a girl better with time instead of interviewing her on the first date.
3. He disrespects people
“This one is a killer. When we’re having dinner somewhere and he disrespects the waiter, it just shuts me down.” Disrespect is not a sign of power or strength, so please be kind and respectful to everyone regardless of their social status.
4. He brags about himself
“This is a major turn off especially if he’s not even half as good as he says he is. I’m also not interested in what you have as much as who you are.” Please spare us the list of Euro trips, cars and fancy gadgets, we’re not interested.
5. He gets touchy
“It was too soon for holding hands. We’ve only just met and he’s already reaching for my hand.” It’s always better to wait for the girl to show how comfortable she is with any physical contact (e.g. holding hands?)
6. He stares at my body not my face
“When a guy is directly talking to my chest or neck, etc, it’s just rude and offensive.” Please look a girl in the eye when you’re talking to her, not in a creepy way though.
7. He doesn’t act like a gentleman
“He walks in front of me, doesn’t hold the door open for me and asks me to pay for my drinks.” If you guys think this is treating women as your equals, think again. It’s a major turn off because when you’re walking in front of a girl, it sort of implies that you don’t care. As for asking her to pay for her drink/dinner, that’s just cheap and implies you go on 3 dates every night. We should rely more on facts I know, but we’re only human.
Becoming a couple:
8. He assumes he’s superior physically and mentally
“He assumes because he’s a guy, he’s more superior physically and mentally.”
“He assumes just because he’s a guy he knows better and starts choosing for me or makes decisions on my behalf.” If this is the kind of girl you want to be with, you’re with the wrong person.
9. He uses foul language
“When he swears and uses foul language as if I’m one of the guys, it offends me.” Swearing doesn’t make you sound more cool or masculine, just immature/rude.
10. He debates all the time
“He tries to prove he knows more about everything which is just annoying.” You don’t have to have an opinion about everything. Please try to be selective about this.
11. He flirts with other girls when I’m not around
“If we’re a couple, we’re exclusive. When he’s super sweet to every girl in the room just because I’m not there, it upsets me because I feel he needs to hide it, so it’s not so innocent.” Can you please treat girls the same way when we’re not there? You can still be nice, but please be consistent.
12. He’s allowed to do certain things that I’m not because I’m a girl
“When a guy says I can’t stay out late or have guy friends or travel a lot for work, it just turns me off and I feel he’s in the wrong century.” Just stay clear from this argument please.
13. He stereo-types women
“Assuming just because I’m a woman, I’m only good at cooking and cleaning is just so irritating.” You know what? Actually these are the two things we’re mostly bad at nowadays.
14. He lies
“This one is obvious, right? Well, not so obvious. Lying about silly things for no good reason is beyond my comprehension. It makes me question everything else he says or does.” Please tell us you ran into our neighbor and chatted with him for 30 minutes instead of making up a sad story about a fictitious accident on the bridge. We will forgive you for a lot of things, but not lying.
15. He insults me
“It really hurts when he says something insulting/offensive thinking he’s being honest.” There’s a thin line between honesty and being offensive, please learn to tell the difference.
16. He says he will take care of something but doesn’t
“It annoys me having to nag about everything for a year to get it done. I don’t understand if this is a technique to get me to do it myself or if he’s just lazy.” Enough said.
17. He criticizes my outfit, saying I should have dressed up/wore something different when we are already out
“Once we’re out the door, please don’t tell me how much you dislike my outfit, makeup or how underdressed I am for the occasion. It just makes me feel bad about myself for the rest of the evening with no real chance of doing anything about it.” That was self-explanatory, no comments from me.
18. He doesn’t offer to pick me up and drive me back home when it’s late or I’m tired
“This one just kills me. I mean seriously, isn’t he even worried about me? Am I so unimportant or is he just too lazy?” It really hurts us when you ask us to come back home with an Uber at 2 A.M. Not cool.
19. He gives me attitude and doesn’t accept feedback just because it came from me
“I have to think a few times before giving advice or sharing my opinion because I know that the only reason he wouldn’t follow it, is because I said it.” Why is it so hard to accept our advice? This is not a rhetorical question. If there’s a reason you’re aware of, please let’s discuss it and get it over with.
20. He refers to old arguments and holds my words against me after so long
“I feel I have to think 100 times before saying anything because it will come up 3 years later in a different topic and will be taken completely out of context.” Please bring up whatever you don’t like right now and let’s put it to rest. Bringing it up 6 months later is just suffocating, especially if it’s taken out of context and not even relevant.
21. He picks on me in front of friends and family
“Even if it’s a joke, sometimes it’s not funny and I wish he realizes that.” There’s always some truth in every joke and sometimes it’s just annoying and embarrassing having to hear what you think is wrong with us in front of people we know. We don’t care if you laugh when you say it, still not a joke.