All or Nothing.

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Dear S,

I sometimes wonder if you’re even the same person now. The optimistic funny guy that never shied away from expressing his feelings. I remember that Saturday night you felt so lonely on your way back from a party at 5 A.M. The next day when I asked you how it went; you explained it in clear words and raw emotions. I saw back then how comfortable you were; showing your innermost feelings and how natural it was for you to let me in. Somehow, this broke my heart because I knew that I wouldn’t be there long enough for you to share more of yourself with me. I wonder now if whatever it is that made us part ways was worth all the heartache and the void I have felt for years since you were gone. I keep on reading the last letter you left on the kitchen table. You said you knew I was all or nothing, but you still wanted to hear more from me and to stay in touch. Oh, how I wish I hadn’t let it all fall into pieces.

Missing the new you all the same,

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